


But My Smile Still Stays On

by Queen of Hearts (Ray_Gosh), Ray_Gosh



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars
Genre: Abuse, Acceptance, Anger, Bargaining, Break up sex, Breakup, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Desert Island, Developing Relationship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Erotica, F/M, Falling In Love, Fishing, Five Stages of Grief, Forgiveness, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Idiots in Love, Intervention, Isolation, Lost Love, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Lovesickness, Making Love, Male-Female Friendship, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Pining, Pining Poe Dameron, Post-Break Up, Rebound, Romance, Sad and Beautiful, Self-Acceptance, Sex, Shower Sex, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathy, Training, Understanding, Unrequited Love, Wake Up Call, dramatic break up, farming, loss of appetite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22518466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ray_Gosh/pseuds/Queen%20of%20Hearts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ray_Gosh/pseuds/Ray_Gosh
Summary: A year after TROS, a still-grieving, brooding Rey throws herself into whatever she can to distract herself from her sorrow; this includes excessive training practice, and a friends-with-benefits relationship with Poe. For now Poe is content with what she is capable of giving him, but, developing feelings for her, he’s starting to want more.When Rey suddenly learns that Ben is very much alive, waiting for her on Ahch-Too, can she do what it takes to extricate herself out of her relationship with Poe, and go save her soulmate Ben, without hurting either of them more than she can help?
Relationships: Finn & Rose Tico, Finn/Rose Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix & Poe Dameron, Kaydel Ko Connix/Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Rey, Poe dameron and Kaydel, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey and Ben Solo - Relationship, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, finn and rose, poe and zoori, rey and kylo - Relationship, rey and poe - Relationship
Comments: 21
Kudos: 63





	1. The Show Must Go On

One year had passed since Exegol, and the devastating loss of Rey’s soulmate Ben. Her grief had been extreme; going from numb shock, to disbelief and denial, to intense pain and suffering; then she went through two months of deep depression, where she couldn’t leave her bed, (let alone her room), and forgot all about eating and personal hygiene. Finn and Rose tended to her supportively; without knowing exactly what her grief was, they figured it was love and loss, and they felt sympathy for their sad friend. Finally Rey’s emotions settled on anger, and after another month or two, she unfortunately learned how to bury her anger deep in her heart, drowning it out, hiding it from the world. The pain was too great, so she did what she could to numb it. She plastered a smile on her face and kept her expressions mask like, in her effort to avoid the additional pain that her friends’ pitying eyes would give her.

Six months after Ben’s disappearance from her arms, from his evaporation, not many people would have been able to tell what she was going through. She avoided being alone as much as possible. She trained every spare moment of the day... she avoided her own room, waiting until she could barely keep her eyes open before throwing herself in bed to sleep.

Ten months after Exegol, she instead decided to try throwing herself into a sexual relationship with Poe; her anger and the constant suppression of her emotions demanded a release. She’d actually tried to hit on Finn at first, but he was too much her friend to do that to her, and he knew her too well to stand for it. She’d never told Finn EXACTLY what had happened on Exegol, but witnessing her tortured reaction to Ben’s death, he had a good idea in what direction her sorrow lay. Plus he was sort of in a relationship with Rose; it was new but they were taking it slow, figuring things out. With Poe though, Rey had never been very close, and since they’d met, he'd been off planet a lot on random missions; now, as co-general with Finn, he was kept busy, especially during the early days, setting up the foundation of the new Galactic Republic. It so happened that he was absent during the days of her depression. Eventually, there was enough peace to allow Poe to stay home for longer stretches of time, and Rey was able to form a relationship of convenience with him. She couldn’t stand to be alone, and having Poe around to pass the lonely hours was a huge relief. It all started on the night of a party, the first one she’d allowed herself to attend since... it... happened; and she took the opportunity that presented itself. Poe, who had always been attracted to her, had recently broken up with his on again/off again girlfriend Zorii, and seeing him alone, Rey had flirted shamelessly, dancing provocatively with him all evening. He was a great dancer, he had MOVES; and the sizzling heat they shared on the dance floor easily transitioned into sexual chemistry in the bedroom. 

After the party, she invited him up to her room, which was just across the hall from his anyway. A one night stand easily turned into two nights, then three, until she was practically living with him, randomly sleeping either in his bed or hers. But... there were no feelings there, not for her anyway. She needed him to avoid being alone. Rey liked him, as a friend. Of course he WAS rugged and sexy (nothing compared to Ben obviously, but then again, she refused to think about Ben... how could he have done it, how could he have given her his life, when she finally knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she couldn’t live without him?!) 

Poe knew how to please a woman; Rey was beautiful, flexible, independent, and not clingy at all, which was just what he THOUGHT he wanted, at least, at the time. She drove him crazy with desire. He was a generous and experienced lover, and he’d had his eyes on Rey ever since he’d met her on Crait. Still, sleeping with her almost every day was starting to make him... well, feel things too. She refused to talk about commitment though. She wouldn’t tolerate romance or softness. He hardly knew where he stood with her, so for the time being he wisely accepted her the way she was, and was content that they were both exclusive at least. Rey wasn’t happy; but just now, she needed him. Something about Poe helped her to feel things, when it was becoming increasingly difficult to FEEL anything but pain. 

Slowly but surely, the one year anniversary of Exegol was coming up. Galactic Day was what people called it. A day of celebration, when the First Order was obliterated and the new year of the Galactic Republic had started. Everywhere Rey went, people were yammering on about their stupid plans for their dumb celebrations and parties. It made her physically ill, nauseous. She threw herself into her training with more effort than usual, and on THAT day she was at the training grounds bright and early, staying till late in the evening, when Poe finally came looking for her.

“Baby, I’ve been looking all over base for you!” he called over to her, concerned, drawing her out of her concentration. She lowered her saber and turned around, her hardened eyes looking up at his. He eyed her, concern furrowing his brow. “Let’s both go home and get cleaned up, and go party!”

He reached her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her on her sweaty neck. Kriff, he was really starting to feel for this girl. They’d been, well, TOGETHER for two months now. It was starting to feel like more than a friends with benefits relationship to HIM. He knew she didn’t feel that way though. The more emotion he showed to her, the more she pulled away from him mentally. It was like he couldn’t reach her soul. She was walled off inside herself; even when she was smiling at him, talking to him, kissing him, sleeping with him, there was a part of her that she kept locked away, and hidden. The more she pulled away, the more he tried to please her, which caused her to withdraw even more, until he backed off; it was a vicious cycle. He sighed, lost in thought, as Rey exhaustedly leaned back into his arms, suddenly worn out from her long and intense day of working out and fighting exercises. 

After a moment, she suddenly turned around, with a smile on her lips that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and wrapping her hands around his neck, pushed her body into him and pressed her lips lusciously and wetly against his. “I have another idea... how about we go shower together, then you and I can celebrate privately in bed all night?”

Instantly feeling his passions awaken, he groaned lightly into her neck, as his hands grabbed her ass, pressing her more firmly against his lower abdomen. “Oh Rey, you do know I’m a General right? I’ll have to make an appearance at least... ohhhhh!” Rey bit his lip mischievously, as she ran a hand down his chest, resting it finally against at his growing erection, grabbing at it through the fabric. “What was that babe?” she asked him. “Hmmm, huh? I think it’s time to get you naked and in the shower, girl,” he said, as he looked at her, his eyes kindled with flaming desire, and he grabbed her wrists, pulling her out the door, hurrying them to her room. She kept pace with him, before suddenly darting forward and running ahead of him down the hall, and he laughed as he chased her. Catching up to her at her door, he pressed her into the wall, kissing her deeply with tongue as he fumbled blindly for the door handle. 

Once inside, they undressed in haste, and jumped in the shower, Poe running his eyes along with his hands all over her lithe, petite body, cupping her breasts, her little bottom, then grabbing her waist, pulling her flush against him. He kissed from her lips to behind her ear, then along her neck, down to her breasts, flicking his tongue against her nipples as they hardened, before sucking one into his mouth and swirling it all over with his tongue, and she shivered, moaning. 

He knew from painful experience that it was no use to try to be soft, romantic, kissing her with feeling; she always immediately stopped him, only wanting passion and intensity from him. He slowly, erotically lathered her up with suds as she closed her eyes, making cute little obscene noises. “You know what I want Poe,” she finally ordered him, turning around and pressing her bum against his waist, wiggling it against his thick member. “Oh you naughty Jedi,” he moaned in his deep voice, as she grabbed his hands and planted them firmly around her hips, bending over in front of him. “Are you sure Rey, just like that, no foreplay or...” he paused, his voice thick in his throat. It was hard to control his reaction to her, but he wanted to be a gentleman about it. “POE, just... now please!” Rey demanded. Sighing with a mixture of frustration at her distance, and lust at the way she was pressing her wet entrance demandingly against the tip of him, he slowly slipped himself inside her tightness. Both gasping, he pushed himself in up to the hilt with her help, stretching her wide, and then they started to move their hips, increasing rhythm rapidly, in unison, for many delicious minutes; the friction and buildup increasing with every passing moment. Rey, driving him crazy, was moaning out, “harder Poe! Faster, oh harder, yes yes YES! POE DON’T YOU KRIFFING STOP!” 

This girl would be the death of him, Poe thought distractedly, as he pumped in and out in a frenzy under the running shower. She was absolutely irresistible. He was getting really close, too fast, and he started gasping, when she finally screamed out, reaching the height of her pleasure even more quickly than he, and he followed seconds behind her, spilling out everything he had into her in delicious release. Thank the Maker for the standard, but highly effective birth control device Rey had gotten inserted at the medical center. “Fuck Rey,” he said shakily, almost passing out from the pleasure, as he slowly ground to a halt, still holding tight to her hips with both hands as she held onto the side of the tub, bent over in front of him, panting, “that was HOT.” Rey giggled breathlessly, as she slowly pulled away to slide him out of her, still half erect, and stood up. She briefly leaned into his chest, burying her face in his neck, and he rubbed her back contentedly. 

But Rey was far from content. These encounters with Poe... she always felt so guilty afterwards. Shame poisoned her enjoyment, anger at herself engulfing her heart. It felt like she was cheating on Ben. “That’s silly,” she told herself, “We’d shared ONE KISS. Which I initiated. All I got from him after was a smile. He was gone before we could exchange a word.” Yes he was gone, and yes she had needs; but she knew she wasn’t being completely honest with herself or Poe. She imagined how sex would have felt with Ben, how intimate and loving; what she was doing now with Poe was nothing like that. It was carnal, lust driven, pleasurable; and she knew that Poe probably wanted more by now. He kept hinting at it, trying to romance her, wanting her to let him spoil her. Trying to talk about feelings. But she COULDN’T give him that part of herself. When her soulmate died, her ability to experience REAL intimacy with another had died with him. 

As she stood there in his arms with her face pressed against his comforting shoulder, she blinked away her tears and stifled the sob that was gathering in her throat, so as not to alarm Poe. She forced her standard smile onto her lips, rearranging her face back into the mask that she wore in front of everyone now. Avoiding Poe’s eyes, she invited him to help her wash again... then they moved into the bedroom. 

This time, Rey was down for some foreplay. She gave him head for a bit (refusing to swallow though as usual) and he went down on her (he was talented at that, and she closed her eyes and imagined it was Ben...) Then she let him spoon her and take her from behind. She usually avoided having sex with Poe face to face... it helped her feel she was keeping her distance. It was loud, raunchy and deliciously carnal. When finally they both were spent, Poe tried to encourage her to dress up and go to the party with him. But Rey refused, pleading a headache and exhaustion. Exasperated, Poe finally gave up, and went alone, muttering something about Jedi foolishness, training all day.... 

Now fully alone, on today of all days, Rey started to regret not going to the party with Poe. Braving the happy, wild party goers might have been a better idea than keeping her self company, alone in her room, especially TODAY. She locked her door, took another fast shower, slipped on an almost see through silky scrap of a robe over her naked body, then blasted music from her favorite singer, Queen Freddy of Mercury. That dude GOT IT. He was this awesome tortured soul who poured out his pain in song. He was of a genderless alien race from a tiny planet in the Milky Way (although he preferred to be called a “he”, he took the title of “Queen”). It was said there were only a handful of their species, because upon death, their soul regenerated into a new body. Which was awesome in Rey’s opinion, as the entire galaxy would NEED his music forever. 

When “The Show Must Go On” came on, Rey couldn’t take it anymore, and started sobbing her eyes out. The blasting music combined with her bawling was so loud that she didn’t hear a sudden, low whooshing sound at first. Soon though, the little hairs on the back of her neck began to rise, and her skin tingled, as a thrill went through her like a lightning bolt. That feeling! It was like...! She opened her eyes and spun around wildly. Gazing giddily across the room, she looked up, straight into Ben’s loving, thankful, excited eyes as he appeared to her over their old force bond. Rey gasped, and, eyes rolling up in her head, she fainted away.


	2. Under Pressure

“Rey,” Ben’s voice erupted in her head like fireworks... starting to come too, her eyes were still closed, and a burst of swirling, colored sparks and designs flowed across her mind with each syllable she heard him pronounce. “Rey sweetheart, my darling, can you hear me? It’s Ben sweetheart. Wake up Rey, I’m here!” The song “Love of My Life” was playing in the background. No one had turned off the music player. 

Rey felt two large gentle arms supporting her, one hand brushing away her hair, then a pair of soft lips lightly and gently press kisses against her forehead. A few strands of long hair escaped from behind his ear and fell across her cheek. Eyes still closed, she reached along the muscled arm wrapped around her, over the broad shoulder, and up through the hair along his neck to the speaker’s face. Soft bristling hairs outlined the mouth and chin. She slowly opened her eyes, and found herself looking into the tender face of Ben Solo. He looked older, wiser, different; however, she saw he was her Ben still. A variety of emotions were dancing in his eyes and rippling across the muscles of his face. Rey whimpered, and tears gathered in her eyes and started to roll down her cheeks. She managed to squeak out one word, “Ben..?”

“Oh thank the Maker!” Ben sighed deeply with relief, and gently pulled her deeper into his arms, settling her more firmly upon his lap. She buried her face in his faded black sweater. It was the same one he had wore on Exegol, but it was clean, and smelled like the ocean and sunshine, mixed with his intoxicating scent. The hole from where she stabbed him was patched up with a piece of rough, off-white cloth. She felt dizzy, and she inhaled him, clutching the fabric tightly in her fists, while he wrapped his arms around her like he would never let her go. He breathed her in, planting kisses in her still-wet hair, grateful to finally have Rey in his arms again, at last. She didn’t know how he was there or how he was even alive, but for now all questions were suspended in the shock of the moment. 

It had been his life’s goal to get back to her since he had been thrown into the transportation vortex of Exegol by Palpatine, and was stranded on Ahch-To. The effort needed for his force projection to Rey, combined with the transference of his life force to her, on top of his injuries, had nearly killed him; for a whole year, too weak to communicate with her, and a hairs breadth away from dying, he had only one thought in mind, to heal and find his way back to her. Their shared kiss was the only thought he had to keep him going, during the long, painful dark months of his recovery. 

“Ben,” Rey finally pulled away enough to look at him, with wild eyes, hysteria bubbling up in her chest as she fought it, trying to stay rational for this blessed moment. “Ben where are you really? I know this is a projection and you will disappear soon....” her voice cracked. “How?” Tears started to pour uncontrollably down her face. “My sweet Rey,” he murmured, kissing away her tears one by one, “don’t cry my love. I’m safe on Ahch-To, in your old cabin.”

“Ahch-To!” Rey gasped, reaching up to grab fistfuls of his hair, several inches longer than it had been before, and looking horrified into his eyes, “do you mean you’ve been stranded there with no ship, dying, while I’ve been here wasting my time with...” she stopped, flushing angrily with herself. Mounting hysteria building in her chest, she started to hyperventilate.

“Rey,” Ben held her arms gently, grounding her, “Sweetheart, I didn’t even know where I was for almost 6 months. The island caretakers healed me. I wasn’t up to my full strength until a week ago, and I spent that time preparing myself to find you. All week I practiced reaching out to you, I could feel your repressed anger, loneliness and unhappiness.”

He allowed her time to breath, taking in this new information that was wracking her with pangs of guilt. He didn’t understand why she was feeling this way... he’d assumed she would have thought he was dead. Hell, HE didn’t even know he was alive until three months post Exegol; and he didn’t even BEGIN to understand what had happened until 7 months into his recovery. Rey could see he had no suspicion whatsoever that she had been in a relationship with anyone else during their year of separation. 

As Ben looked at her, a wave of longing love washed over him, and before he could stop himself, he felt the words come rushing out, “Rey, I love you, so so much. You are my soul Rey.” Rey felt like she was melting, as she felt his emotions mixing and swirling with her own between them. “Oh Ben, I love you too, with all my heart, and I’ve never stopped!” The sexual tension between them had been sizzling on the back burner during this whole exchange, but suddenly the room seemed very hot to the two of them. For the first time, Rey noticed Ben’s eyes flick almost involuntarily down to her breasts, before quickly lifting his eyes away, a flush spreading over his cheeks and into his ears. She was suddenly very aware of her skimpy, practically see through robe, a deep open V in the fabric going down nearly to her navel, the pink hardness of her nipples peeking out tantalizingly through the fabric. She blushed, suddenly feeling really warm as she realized how intimately she was sitting in his lap... could that possible be his...? She gasped to herself, shocked.

Looking up at his bashful face, it finally clicked for her; she knew it was Ben, that he was alive and well, that their force bond was back up, and that he loved and desired her. And so she finally lifted off the mask from her face, and let the full force of her emotions and feelings shine out of her eyes into his. 

Their hearts pounding in unison, pulses raising, Ben looked down at her full bottom lip, his own parted. Rey looked at his mouth, leaning in. Who made the first move? Neither of them would ever know; suffice it to say that they were full on making out, kissing passionately, reverently, deeply, tongues intertwined and dancing between them. Ben had one hand on her lower back and the other at the back of her neck. Rey wanted his touch, she felt like she was starving for him; she reached behind her to pull his hand around, up to cup her breast. Ben moaned loudly down her throat at this permission, and his warm hand soon slipped under the fabric of her robe to touch her bare skin. Rey, whimpering and crying out as he gently squeezed her breast and rubbed his thumb across her hardened nipple, was almost frantic in her desire to feel more of him. She slipped both hands up the base of his sweater and ran them across his muscled chest. The wet sounds of their kisses turning them on even more, they were so wrapped up in each other that at first they didn’t hear the knocking at Rey’s door.

Realization dawning upon them at the persistent knocks, they pantingly pulled away, Rey deliriously happy, feeling too drunk on Ben to pay much attention. Suddenly she stiffened and froze, horror taking over her happy expression, as she realized the person knocking was Poe.

“Rey, baby, open up the door for me,” Poe coaxed her from the other side. “I’m back for more ‘Jedi training’.” He laughed at his own joke. “Rey baby, are you feelin ok? Open up the door and I’ll do that thing you like... night’s not over!” 

Rey had jumped up, electrified, completely aghast, speechless. Looking into Ben’s face, he was dumbstruck. Slowly realization dawned on him, this man was calling out to Rey... she’d moved on... his face crumpled and he slowly stood up and backed into a corner, hurt, floored, heartbroken. 

Staring at him horrified, not knowing what to say, Rey finally realized it was not the time for explanations now. First she would have to get rid of Poe. “One moment Ben, DON’T leave Ben I beg you. I’ll explain... don’t leave... “ she whispered, then resolutely turning away from her one true love, she walked to the door to confront her lover. 

“Poe, I’m fine, and I’m not in the mood right now... I just want I be alone.” Rey’s trembling voice was barely audible, her mouth had gone completely dry. “At least let me in honey, I forgot my General uniform in your bathroom.” Poe rejoined. Rey cringed, looking over at Ben’s downcast face, and he was pale, refusing to look at her. She realized he could see her surroundings, would probably be able to see Poe even. She desperately opened the door, and Poe came in. His cheerful smile froze on his face and disappeared as he saw the helpless, horrified expression on hers.

“What... Rey! What’s the matter?!!” He grabbed her arms, dropping his face bare inches from hers, before attempting to pull her in for a hug. A strangled sound escaped Ben behind her, as Rey desperately pulled away from Poe; she hadn’t thought this through. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Poe continued. He scanned the room, but saw nothing unusual. “Under Pressure” had started playing on the music player, and Rey frustratedly hit the off button, stopping the song mid lyric. 

“Poe, please get your things and go out... I need to be alone. I’ll come by your room later and explain everything.” Rey tried to keep her voice firm, but it broke mid sentence. Poe stared at Rey, his mouth gaping, a confused and hurt look on his face... her tone of voice, her expression, the way she pushed him away, distancing herself from him physically and emotionally... he was suddenly very serious, the calm before the storm, “Rey.... I don’t understand... is this... hmph... are you breaking up with me or something?” His voice began to take on a panicked tone, and he looked shocked, pained. It just hit him now how much he LIKED her; maybe loved her? “Poe, please, let’s talk later...” Rey went on, but Poe interrupted her. “Rey, baby, I need an explanation or something. You can’t just drop a bomb on my head like this... we were happy... at least, I was happy. We’ve been sleeping together almost every night for two months.” Rey cringed, as she heard a thump behind her, like Ben’s body had suddenly backed hard into the wall. Poe heard nothing, but noticed her cringe. “Rey, was it something... in the shower earlier, was there anything you didn’t like...? You can talk to me, tell me what you want. Hell, that’s what we do anyway isn’t it? You tell me what you want and what you like and I do it! I’ve never forced anything on you....” he was almost hysterical. “Poe, darling, please shut up!” Rey was getting more and more frantic every second; she sensed that each sentence Poe uttered was another stab in Ben’s heart, “Please stop! Poe, this has NOTHING to do with you ok? Listen, it’s all me. You are an awesome lover, you are kind and generous, you’ve let me be who I am with no pressure to change me... but Poe, there’s someone else, there has always been someone else.” 

“Who?!?” Poe demanded, with tear filled eyes. He knew Rey never spoke to ANYONE lately if she could help it. Who the hell was she talking about? Fuck, now the Jedi girl was making him cry. He’d never felt this way about a girl, except once, back in the day after his first big split with Zorii. He placed a hand on his hip to steady himself while he wiped the back of his other hand across his eyes. “Poe, it’s... it’s Ben Solo, Poe,” Rey uttered with a softened tone; seeing Poe’s emotion surprised her. But she couldn’t focus on that now... all her senses were tuned in on Ben behind her. She dared not turn around, but she heard a sharp intake of breath behind her, she knew Ben was listening with all his might. Poe blinked at her for a moment, exasperated, gasping at this unexpected answer. “Ben Solo is DEAD Rey, Finn told me! I know that’s why you’ve been so cut up, and during our relationship I’ve been NOTHING but patient Rey. Right? Haven’t I been good to you? You know me Rey,” he pleaded with her, taking her hand in his and tearfully looking into her face. “I promise to be patient Rey, you want time to grieve, I’ll give you time! I’ll be there for you even if you don’t love me. You need someone Rey, let that someone be me!” 

Fuck this was so complicated! Rey buried her face desperately in her hands and burst anew into tears. She felt all the strength of Poe’s pain and emotion, and she felt so guilty, she should have realized how this intimacy would make him feel, what it would do to anyone normal. She felt helpless. Poe, not knowing what else to do, wrapped his arms supportingly around her, and stood there like a man, letting her get her cry out. 

Ben was watching this exchange, frozen as marble, unable to feel anything but intense pain. He should have known, a girl like Rey.... she’d thought he was dead. Beautiful, smart, talented, resilient Rey. He didn’t blame her. He couldn’t. He blamed only himself, cursing his slow recovery, at his weakness even now. He wondered if she loved Poe... why did it have to be Poe, hadn’t they both hated each other?? And then he himself, Ben (well, Kylo) had also had some bad history with Poe.... but if she loved him, he would have to be the bigger man and pull himself out of her life. How could he do it? How would that be possible? He should have died after Exegol. He wished he was dead now, that the planet would swallow him up and eradicate this pain, turning him into blissful nothingness. He spent the whole year on the brink of death, trying desperately to rejoin her, never thinking his soul mate might have found belonging in another man’s arms... in his bed (he shuddered violently at this, gasping out at the fresh streak of pain lashing at his heart.) The image of Poe, naked in bed with Rey, touching her, having her, made his vision turn white hot. His old self started calling to him... but no, he surpassed it, he didn’t pass through pain and death to be weak and go back to the dark side NOW. He was Ben, stronger in the light than he had ever been in the darkness. But this was a blow. A cruel blow of fate. 

Finally Rey mastered herself enough to gently pull herself out of Poe’s arms. “Ben Solo is not dead Poe. I thought he was. He is still alive, finally strong enough to contact me through the force. I must go to him.” Poe let out a muffled noise, but said nothing, nodding and looking down at his feet, then at her face, memorizing it, still pleading, but beginning to feel hopeless now as he sensed her resolve. “Poe, you’ve been the most wonderful friend and comfort to me; I’ll never forget you. You are dear to me. I know this won’t ever be enough for you, but... thank you.” She reached up self consciously and planted a chaste goodbye kiss upon his lips. At that Poe let out a sob, something he hadn’t done for years, since his boyhood... and he cried for a few moments on her shoulder while she awkwardly patted his hair. “I’ll always be here Rey. I’ll always love you Jedi girl.” he gasped out. With that he turned and rushed out of the room, and Rey and Ben were alone again.


	3. Love of My Life

As the door gently clicked shut, and the sound of Poe’s footsteps died away down the hallway, Rey and Ben simply stood there, frozen in place. Rey could hear her own heartbeat pounding in her ears, and she stared at him, unable to speak or look away. The moments ticked by, Rey gazing at Ben, sorrowful, not knowing how to begin. Ben was unable to look at her at first. He knew he needed to ground himself, to make sure he was perfectly calm, in control, and rational when he finally addressed her. He knew what he would have to say, but didn’t know if he had the strength to say it. He began to look around the room, noticing things he hadn’t seen earlier. The full sized bed with its snowy white duvet and pillows messily piled on top was pushed into the corner, under a tiny window, straight ahead to his right. A flowering plant was set upon the windowsill, lacy curtains blocking out most of the view. He suddenly noticed a man’s work shoe peeking out from under the bed next to a pair of dainty slippers. A stack of dusty, ancient looking books were piled up on the nightstand. A small table with two chairs was placed along the same wall in the left corner, that served both as a dining table and a desk; a holopad and some disks were scattered across this table, as well as a writing pad and pen, topped carelessly with a tray, holding two cups containing the dregs of day old coffee and leftover breadcrumbs. 

Immediately to his right were two doors, presumably leading to a bathroom and closet. Slowly turning his head to his immediate left, he saw a plant stand in the corner, the music player resting on top, next to a plushy, scarlet colored easy chair with a multicolored pillow, and a scruffy, dog eared book placed open upon the seat, spine up. A little to the right of this chair, his eyes met the outer door, that led to the main hallway of the spacious dwelling place, a part of the large wing of the base’s headquarters that was home to the top ranking generals and vip of the resistance. Rey was still standing there, stalk still, her face ashen, with one feverish pink spot glowing on each cheek. With a pang, he noticed the look of intense suffering on her face; he felt her guilt and the self loathing emanating from her through the force bond, as well as pity for his own suffering. HE had made her suffer, HE made her look like that. She MUST be torn, she must love this Poe more than she was willing to admit. She may be having second thoughts about Ben himself now; he was after all, the one who had detained Poe long ago, before she had even met either of them; she must know it was he who had stood by while he was tortured for information, who had reached into his mind unbidden. He must remain calm, clear headed... not think of the fact that his soul mate was no longer his, that he was now terribly, utterly, horribly alone in the wide, cold galaxy. 

“Rey.” He forced himself to speak, and her tortured eyes, which had never left his face, looked into his even more intensely. She was glorious in her half naked beauty... the pale pink robe exposing more of her skin and curves than she was aware of. Her hair was much longer than it had been a year ago, hanging down almost to her elbows in luxurious waves. A wave of fresh desire washed over him, but he struggled to control it. He had no idea what he was going to say. He was starting to feel the force bond tingling around his form, wanting to draw him back, to Ahch-To. He redoubled his effort to keep himself exactly where he was. He needed to reassure her, let her know that she was free and he would never hold it against her if she picked... Poe. Ugh that bastard. 

“Rey... Rey it’s ok. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.... you have someone, he....” Ben swallowed loudly, “loves you. You should be with him.” He choked out the words, and it took more effort from him to get them out than he’d ever expended before, even when wrestling and wielding the often unruly force. Rey uttered a strangled cry, almost a scream, turning and pressing her face into the wall, as Ben continued. “Rey... I don’t blame you. I’ve been gone for a year... and you’ve had no idea I was alive. I shouldn’t have... expected you... to renounce your life for my sake. I helped bring you back that day.. so you could LIVE. I see now; that was my purpose, why the force brought us together...”

Rey twirled around, her face livid, stalking over to him and pounding her fists passionately against his broad chest, much to Ben’s surprise, “You listen here Ben Solo!” She snapped up at him, “I hated you for saving me. I’ve been suppressing so much rage at the bond, the force, at you, at myself, I couldn’t be ALONE and still LIVE. I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost my light! YES I slept with Poe!” Her voice breaking as her passion subsided, she tearfully continued, “It was nothing to me, meant nothing REAL. Ben! I thought you were dead, and it was killing me, slowly! I wanted to die every minute. I selfishly used him. Poe gave me something I needed; without him I was in danger of not being able to FEEL. The dark side has been tempting me daily, hourly....” Ben’s chin trembled, as he ran his hands up and down her arms, eyes hungrily looking down at her face, every cell in his being intent on her words and expressions. 

“I love you damn it!” Rey continued, her voice hauntingly sad, “I’ve loved you ever since our force bond started up, I knew it ever since you touched my hand over the fire, I’ve wanted you since I shipped myself to you in an escape pod, I’ve been mourning you every second of my life since Exegol!”

“Rey, I love you too, and I’ll always love you, ONLY you... and I KNOW you love me, I know.” Ben’s deep voice spoke to her softly, his pleading tone thrilling her to her soul. He appeared to struggle with himself a moment, then continued, bitterly, “Rey, you’ve been in this man’s life for two whole months now. He’s a good... PERSON... a resistance hero... a General. I’m... I’m nothing Rey. Nothing good. He said he loved you... and... he knows you more... intimately than I do. You might not want me the same way you want him.... not when you’ve been with ME.”

Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing... BEN SOLO, insecure, jealous of Poe Dameron? Did he sense her feelings for him at ALL?!? Yes Poe was a good looking guy, hot; but what was that to Rey? Rey could never have eyes for ANYONE but Ben, if Ben was alive. Ben was exactly her idea of what a perfect man should be. Not because he was her “type”; yes, Ben was beautiful, majestic, princely; but he BECAME her type simply because she loved him, and that was it. He was her soul mate! Her mouth gaping as he spoke, she finally reached up to grab his face and pull it down, closer to her. “BEN SOLO! No one knows me more intimately than you. You’ve seen my heart and soul Ben. You know me like no one else does. YOU ARE SOMETHING TO ME. There was nothing INTIMATE between Poe and I. I’m sorry if mentioning this will pain you, but I kept it strictly.... physical. No one has ever had me emotionally but you. I want you Ben, in ways I’ve never wanted any man before. In all the ways possible, every day Ben, forever.”

Ben’s lips trembled again at her words, but mostly due to the hope starting to bloom in his bosom. Here she was, fighting for him, telling him she loved him, she wanted him, and only him. But, it wouldn’t be fair to allow her to make such a huge decision at such an emotional moment. She was grieving, tired, had fainted; she’d received the shock of her life, finding out he was alive... had broken up with Poe with him watching... had endured pain upon pain upon pain; it’s possible she wasn’t thinking straight, didn’t know what she wanted. He braced himself, his eyes setting in firm decision.

Rey had been watching his expression with bated breath, had seen the hope light up his eyes, had sensed the relief and passionate love emanating across at her through the bond, had felt his hands pull at her arms more possessively... but then she felt him steel himself up, and she didn’t know what to make of it. She waited impatiently for him to speak. Finally, he began, in a measured, deliberate tone. 

“Rey... there is nothing left for me in this world besides you. The only thing in the world I desire is to see you happy. It’s the only reason I kept myself alive. If you chose me, you will make my happiness as I live my life with you and for you. You know this Rey. I’m bonded with you through life and after death. We are one soul. But my darling Rey... if it’s possible that you would feel the slightest iota of regret at choosing me over HIM...” 

“Choosing!!!” Rey interjected, “as if there is any deliberation needed in this matter! It’s a no brainer Ben! I want you.” She reached up and tried to kiss him, but he sadly shook his head and pulled back. His chest heaving a little, rejecting her kiss was hurting him more than it hurt her. “Rey, I need finish what I have to say while I still have some measure of discipline over myself...” His voice lowered into an almost dangerous growl, “it’s taking all of my self-control not to take you for myself right now, for my own...” Rey shivered. “Rey, all I want to do is carry you over to that bed and show you pleasure in a million ways.” Rey’s lower stomach was twisting in knots of desire mixed with anxiety, as she waited to hear what he was going to say next.

“Rey, if there is the slightest possibility that you would wake up one day regretting the choice you are making, I will hate myself more than I ever have before. It’s time for me to get something right in my life, to do the right thing, and this is my ultimate test. I don’t have much time left here, the bond has been trying to pull me back to Ahch-To, since HE left the room... it’s really taking a lot to keep myself here now. My sweetheart... I will leave you for three days. I must give you time to mull over what has happened, to sleep on it. Don’t try to follow me. You need to talk to Poe, and make sure you know what you are doing. If you chose me, make things right with him before you cut ties... you say he is your friend; he’s also a powerful general who now knows I’m alive... Rey, my soul... whatever you chose I love you, forever and always... sleep on it darling, and don’t give me an answer until I come back to you.”

Rey tried to protest, but Ben bent down, and, stopping her exclamations with his mouth, he kissed her then, as if it was the last time he would kiss her. Their lips met again and again, tenderly, lingeringly, lovingly, and the minutes ticked by, until Ben slowly started to fade away in her arms, and Rey was left alone, again. Exhausted, and now crying, she threw herself upon her bed, and fell almost immediately into a deep, feverish sleep.


	4. Another One Bites the Dust

That scene with Rey had been brutal... she’d almost been cruel. After parting with her at the door, Poe marched blindly down the hallway, not knowing where he was going, except that he wanted to get as far away as possible, and be alone. These past two months, though he’d been with Rey, he’d never been emotionally satisfied, never felt he’d really known her. But he wanted her! He wanted to know her! He groaned to himself. He considered taking his tie fighter and just leaving, flying away into the darkness... flying made him happy, he could ignore his aching heart for a while. But no, he sighed to himself; he was a General, he had responsibilities and couldn’t just run away over a girl... the Jedi girl who had twisted his heart and was threatening to shatter it into a million pieces. He changed direction, passing through the main hallway towards the door that led to the forest.

Kaydel had been trying to enjoy the party, hanging out with Finn and Rose, and looked over with concern as Poe charged past the multipurpose room door on his way out, hands in his pockets, looking like hell. It seemed no one had seen him but she. It was late, but the party going on in that room was just getting started. Kaydel hadn’t been happy for a long time, and the past few months had been especially miserable. She’d had a huge crush on Poe for as long as she could remember; he was her hero, growing up she’d had quite a collection of pictures of him pasted in a secret notebook. But then, she had known him since she was an awkward, middle aged teen girl, and that’s how she felt Poe viewed her; even though now she was a pretty young woman, in her twenties, with a high ranking position and important responsibilities. Her crush had blossomed into a full grown, womanly love as well. She’d never been with another man before, because there was only one man she had ever wanted. And he was never available. 

That night, two months ago, after learning that Poe had just broken up with Zorii AGAIN, she had dressed herself up with especial care. This would be her night! She wasn’t going to hide her attraction anymore. She let her hair down, dressed up in her sexiest little black dress and heels (she almost never wore heels!) She let some cleavage show, applied her makeup with care. Finally satisfied, and very late, she walked over to the party; she was extremely nervous, but determined to force Poe to finally notice her. 

She entered the room, and scanned the crowd. Music was blasting, people were laughing and dancing, as multicolored lights flashed and danced above their heads. She’d quickly spotted Rose and Finn against one wall; Finn was whispering something into Rose’s ear, and she blushed prettily, smiling coyly at him. Kaydel smiled as well, happy for Rose, determined that she would have what Rose had soon. She didn’t see Poe at first, maybe he hadn’t arrived? Suddenly she saw something unusual enough to absorb all her attention, to make her stare; Rey, that antisocial Jedi girl, who had spent the past ten months avoiding everybody, and positively growling when she was forced to interact, was laughing out wildly, and dancing extremely provocatively with someone... but she was blocking her dance partner, Kaydel couldn’t see who it was. Rey suddenly ducked down, swaying her hips to the rhythm, and turned a few steps to the left, and Kaydel saw who she was dancing with... it was Poe. Poe was a great dancer, and his partner did him no injustice. They were BEAUTIFUL together. His eyes were all over Rey, his hands touching her everywhere, her waist, her lower back, her hands; she saw Rey turn around, smiling into his eyes, flashing him her cute toothy grin and flirtatious look, and she saw Poe bite his lip, grinning back, turning his head as he blatantly admired the girl, running his eyes up and down. Kaydel gasped, feeling as if she’d been doused in ice water. Of all days in the world for Rey to actually interact with another being, she chose today, and she chose Poe?? She went from the most quiet, taciturn creature in the universe to the sexiest, the most enticing. Kay was shocked. 

Kaydel was sweet, gentle hearted and kind. She felt no ill will for Rey, and she looked on at them sadly, feeling how natural it was for the two of them to come together; self deprecatingly realizing how impossible it would have been for Poe to care for her. 

Kay had no enjoyment that night. Her suffering increased a thousand fold when she saw Rey dragging Poe behind her out the door hardly more than an hour later. She didn’t remember anything else that was said to her that night. The next day, she saw how distant Rey was being with Poe at lunch; she had some hope then that nothing had occurred between them after all besides some innocent, meaningless flirtation. But alas! It was soon abundantly clear that Poe was smitten with Rey, and had no eyes for anyone else. As the days went on, it became obvious that they had SOME sort of ongoing relationship. Rey was completely undemonstrative, but she allowed Poe’s attentions, allowed him to sit by her, care for her, touch her. Kaydel soon sadly accepted that she would never be with Poe. She tried to move on.

She was even trying to put herself out there more, to date; in fact, she’d been hanging out at the Galactic Day Celebration that very night with a nice pilot boy, up till a few minutes before. Unfortunately, he had tried to kiss her prematurely, and she just wasn’t feeling the attraction, so she left him dancing with a pretty, curly haired fighter technician named Jannah. She hoped they would hit it off.

Rose and Finn were flirting and giggling to her right, and she was starting to feel very much like a third wheel, when she saw Poe charging past, obviously upset. She hesitated, but when nobody seemed to have noticed him, and no one else followed him, her heart urged her to see if she could comfort him. She quietly excused herself to her friends, and slipped away, out into the cool night air. 

After walking around the bend, she came to the base’s main recreational area, set at the edge of the wood. It was a wide clearing sprinkled with benches, and had exotic flowers arranged around the yard in planters. It appeared to be empty at first, until she spotted Poe pacing back and forth at the entrance of the wood. She hesitantly walked towards him. He didn’t even notice her until she was a yard away, then he jumped, “Kriff, oh it’s you Kaydel, you startled me.” He struggled to force out his usual smile for her, his face still crumpling in misery. He’d always liked Kaydel. She had grown into a beautiful, sweet little woman. If he hadn’t been such an old friend, he’s always said to himself that she was exactly his type, and he would have asked her out long ago. But, he knew how innocent she was, that she thought of him as an older brother, therefore he tried to keep his dealings with her fraternal, so as not to fray their sweet bond. Tonight, in his trouble, he barely noticed that she had on a long, olive green dress, golden flats peeking out from under the softly rippling skirt, and her blonde hair was up in a bun, a golden decorative chain set around her head. She looked like a queen. 

“I saw you pass by Poe... you look so upset, is anything the matter? Anything I can do for you? Even if you just want a friend to talk too. I’m a good listener.”

“There’s nothing anyone can do, Kay.” Poe’s voice was rough with emotion. “It’s all my own fault. When you start unhealthy relationships... why do I always do this?! I knew she wasn’t REALLY into me.” He rambled, grabbing fistfuls of his hair fretfully as he paced. Kaydel simply stood there, her wide sweet eyes upon him, full of sympathy. “You have no idea what I’m talking about Kay... I’m sorry. You probably didn’t notice I’ve been with... Rey... for a couple of months now.” 

Kaydel nodded, “I noticed,” her whisper was barely audible. “Well, she never was into mushy stuff, she just wanted... ahhh,” he glanced at her, not wanting to offend her by being too plain; but deciding she was an adult now, and he could talk freely, he continued, “she just wanted the physical stuff. Which I told myself I was fine with, and at first I thought I was. But then she just, exploded, out of nowhere; we were fine just a few hours ago, I was happy, I thought she was happy too, in her way... I left her for less than two hours, I had to make an appearance at the party, you know, I’m a General! I rushed back as soon as I could, but then she just, broke up with me, just now, out of the blue. And kicked me out. And I just realized how much I....” he gasped, suppressing a sob. 

Kaydel pitied him, and hated to see him so miserable, even though her heart secretly rejoiced just a little at the thought that he may be free. But she swatted away the thought; the only important thing now was to help Poe. She placed one small arm behind his back, and the other on his arm.  
“Poe, I hate to see you like this. You deserve better than an unfulfilling relationship, you deserve happiness... but maybe, sleep on it, who knows... you should talk to her tomorrow, see if she still feels the same way. Maybe her feelings scared her, so she reacted like this, pushing you away. You need closure. You need to know why. She... may even be having second thoughts.” Poe looked at her, eyes gleaming, hanging onto her words. “Oh Kay, you’re such a sweet girl, such a good friend,” he pulled her in for a hug, allowing her to comfort him while he grieved. The closeness was killing her, but she suppressed every feeling but support for her friend. He had no idea what he was doing to her, and she was glad for that right now. She rubbed his back and patted his hair. After a while, he told her he was exhausted and was going to bed, to try to sleep. He distractedly noticed she felt cold to the touch, so he placed his jacket around her shoulders with brotherly tenderness; she accepted his attentions nervously, with a sweet pang in her heart. They walked together back to base, thoughtfully hand in hand, where he escorted her back to the door of the party room, and walked away, leaving her thoughtfully watching over his departing figure, until his slumped shoulders turned right down the hallway and he was out of sight. Poe’s scent still wafting around her, and his jacket warming her shoulders, she let out a long repressed sigh, and slipped gently back into the party room. 

•••

Rey was awake at the crack of dawn. She’d slept so deeply at last that she woke up confused, and sitting up, looked around, not remembering any of the events of the night before for a few moments. Suddenly though, the remembrance overcame her and she groaned, falling back into bed and covering her head with her blanket.

She began to think. That Ben was being ridiculous was her first thought. She should leave right now, immediately, she should take her fighter and fly all the way to Ahch-To to be with him. It would take three days to get there if she took the fastest hyperspace routes. But three days... she might as well wait for him to show up again; or she could try to force project herself to Ahch-To, using the bond, for a time, to be with him... she envisioned the moment; she would appear in his room as he slept, she would remove her robe and slip under the covers with him, into his arms, proving she only wanted him. Why would he ever think she would pick... oh kriff, Poe!

A wave of regret and shame overcame her. Poe, he had been such an important part of her life, he had been the first and only person she’d ever SLEPT with, at least with enjoyment (besides that ONE awkward encounter, long ago, with some idiot she preferred not to remember). She was much more calm today, rational, and she went over yesterday’s events in her mind over and over... recalling her words to Poe, her expressions, her cruelty. Yes, she HAD been cruel. Thinking only of sparing Ben’s feelings, she had completely decimated Poe’s. The look on his face, his shock, and hurt, the pain she had inflicted upon him, stuck in her mind and refused to leave. Ben had seen it, even Ben had felt pity for Poe. It was true, she couldn’t leave things in this way. She DID care for Poe. Really examining her heart, she realized that if Ben truly had been dead, within a few years, when enough time had passed, she probably would have opened herself up to Poe, would have allowed herself to love him. A tortured kind of love, it’s broken shadowy impression. She knew she must see him now, she needed to make things good between them. Ben was right.

She quickly got up, washed her face and brushed her teeth, then brewed herself a cup of Caff. While she sipped it, she put on a pair of brown leggings with a long beige top, and tied up her hair in a ponytail. Taking a deep breath, she left her room, and crossing the hall, she carefully knocked at Poe’s door.

She heard shuffling, and a curse as something bumped into a piece of furniture, then the door opened. Rey drew in her breath sharply as she saw him, her wide eyes filled with tearful concern. Poe was a mess. He was half dressed in the same clothes from last night, shirtless; his hair was rumpled and his eyes were red and bloodshot, with dark circles under them. She almost would have thought he’d been drinking, if liquor hadn’t been banned from Rebel base, and if she hadn’t known his stance on abstinence from any substance that addled the mind. He looked exactly like how she had felt, losing Ben.

“Rey,” he gasped, relief washing over his face, thinking, hoping she was there to take him back. “May I come in Poe... we need to talk,” Rey spoke more gently that she had intended to at first. Being in his presence was making her feel things she would have preferred not too feel. “Of course Rey, of course my...” Poe stopped suddenly, biting his lip, and held the door wide to let her pass.

As soon as the door was shut, she turned around to find herself embraced around the waist by Poe, who kneeled in front of her, his face buried in her stomach, as he pleaded with her, “Rey, Rey, please Rey I’m a mess, I love you Rey. Please reconsider, forget about what happened yesterday! Please be with me Rey, please!!!”

“Oh Poe, please stand up,” Rey begged him helplessly, holding him and running her fingers through his hair. “Poe I need to apologize for how I reacted last night... I’d just learned the most shocking news, I know that’s not an excuse, but it made me forget all else, even your feelings...” 

“But what of your feelings Rey?!” Poe stood in front of her, leaning down, looking demandingly, defiantly, into her eyes, “don’t tell me you don’t have feelings for me Rey. You tried to hide yourself from me, but you still enjoyed my company, wanted me with you all day and night for two months. I know your grief Rey. But that man you say you love... you can’t possibly even know him, you’ve never been with him the way you have with me! You told me I was practically your first. Don’t give up what we have to chase dreams!” 

Rey was still calm, sad, and a single tear rolled slowly down her cheek as she looked into Poe’s eyes, shaking her head sadly. “He is my Dyad Poe... my soul mate in the force. The last Dyad connection occurred millennia ago. We’ve been inside each other’s minds. He has my life essence flowing through his veins, and I have his in mine. That I MUST be with him is something I know with every fiber in my being, although I can’t explain it. “

“Rey,” Poe moaned. “Rey.” Tears filled his eyes and he leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head to the side and his lips landed on her cheek. “Rey... please.” Poe begged her, “Rey, please kiss me. Give me one more chance to be with you, to try to convince you why you need me. If I had known last night that it would be the last time I would hold you, I would never have let you go.... Rey!” 

The intensity of his pain was doing something to Rey. She longed to comfort him, to give him what he wanted. She knew it wouldn’t make any difference in her decision to pick Ben, but maybe she could end things better between them than she did last night. Give him a better last memory of her. The way his hands were placed on her waist, the closeness of his full, trembling lips, the scent of his skin and breath were so familiar to her, that her physical reaction to him was making her legs weak, and the roar of involuntary desire was erupting in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh Poe,” she sadly cooed, standing on tiptoe, softly kissing his forehead. “Poe! I care about you more than I have ever shown, and I’ll never forget you my darling. But it’s not enough... I wish it was but it’s not. I think... I want... yes. Be with me one last time Poe, and then I have to leave. We have to part. You’ll find another girl who will love you like you deserve. Kiss me, take me, one last time, and then we have to move on.”

Poe stared at her, frozen in place until she finished speaking, desperate, animalistic desire gleaming in his eyes. She wasn’t prepared for his passion as his lips met hers at her invitation; he kissed her demandingly, hungrily, as he’d never kissed her before. Shocked at her immediate response to him, she gaspingly gave herself up to her desire, helplessly allowed herself to feel, instinctually allowed herself to bring him comfort in her physical response to him. He lifted her up, as she wrapped her legs around his waist; and, his lips still locked passionately with hers, he threw himself on top of her on the bed. They slowly pulled off each article of clothing one by one, between kisses and moans, touching each other everywhere. Poe‘s lips and tongue moved down across her neck, her breasts, her thighs, dwelling hungrily for a long time at the junction between them, knowing it would be the last time, lingering over all of his favorite places. She was allowing him to be slow, intimate, gentle... finally crying out, she pantingly pulled his face back up to hers, and she kissed him with feeling, sweetly, gratefully, and it was driving him mad, wild. 

Rey allowed him to take her intimately from the front. He lay on top of her, her legs wrapped around his waist, her fiery hot, dripping wet center pressing invitingly into his throbbing member. He pulled his face back a few inches to look into her eyes as he slowly, agonizingly pushed himself inside her, watching her reaction to him, memorizing it all, even her gasps and pants as he buried himself; watched her eyes glaze over with the intensity of her need as he glided, slowly, deliberately, in and out... when they both were starting to get close, she pulled his lips to hers, pushing her tongue in and out of his mouth in mimic of what he was doing to her. That move took away every last vestige of his control... no longer able to take it slow, he started pumping in and out, in a frenzy, harder and faster while she screamed down his throat, unraveling as she came... he called out as he found the bittersweet release deep inside her, slowing down gradually until they both could move no more. 

He rolled over to her side then, and they both lay there a long time, holding each other. Rey on her back, looking up at the ceiling, Poe’s head resting against her shoulder with one arm behind her back and the other curled on top of her, his hand cupped over one breast, holding her gently. Poe grieving for her, Rey with silent tears randomly rolling down her cheeks into the pillow. 

They lay together for almost an hour, no words passing between them, no sound in the room but of their breathing, and the occasional faraway chirping of the song birds on the trees outside Poe’s window. Finally, Rey sat up, and Poe with her; his eyes pleading, he whispered mournfully to her, “Rey... please stay.”

“I have to go Poe. I’ll never forget you or this beautiful morning.... and I’ll always care for you Poe.”

Poe nodded, grief stricken, accepting it in depressed defeat, and after she had pulled on her clothes, he hugged her. “Thank you Rey,” he spoke hoarsely, “for today, and everything, all of it. I’m always here for you if you ever need me... for anything.” They shared a sad smile as Rey passed out the door. Poe threw himself back into bed, which smelled like Rey, with a loud groan, and he finally slept.


	5. I Want to Break Free

Completely overwhelmed with all that had happened, Rey barely made it back into her room, bursting into tears the second the door shut behind her. She collapsed into the easy chair, her feelings a jumbled mess, Poe and Ben’s images tangled in her mind. Now that she had opened up herself to FEEL, her gaping heart bled with sensibility; it was like a dam had burst, and every possible emotion she had been bottling up for the past year came rushing out in rapid torrents. 

After a long time of uncontrollable, mindless sobbing, she began to form coherent thoughts, mentally going over the past year in her mind. Poor Poe. Impulsive, good humored, easy going Poe; she wished she could have been the woman he had wanted her to be. It had been fun with him, he had given her something that she’d needed at the time, had filled a void. Still, she wished that their whole relationship had never happened, not for her own sake, but for his; wished in vain that she could take it all back, so that she wouldn’t be a cause of pain for him. If only Ben had found his strength two months earlier, before any of this had happened! If she had only left this place, gone back to Ahch-To. The thought had occurred to her several times over the past year, to go to the place that had a history of hosting sad, lonely, Jedi who felt like failures, and accepted that as their fate. She eventually tried to drown out the anger, the pain, the sadness she was feeling, and focus on something positive. She thought of Ben.

She was instantly elated, her soul flying with boundless joy, as she remembered him, he was alive, ALIVE! She had been held by him, in his arms once more. Reunited... but then it had turned so ugly. The shame and guilt she felt at the thought of him being completely alone, seemingly abandoned by her in Ahch-To, almost undid her again. Why hadn’t she gone to look for him? Why hadn’t she considered his survival as a possibility? Exegol had been rumored for centuries to contain a vergance, if the legends were true (and they usually are, to some degree,) and so was Ahch-To... but his fading away had seemed so similar to the way in which the Jedi typically met their end; she supposed, now, that Palpatine had cast him unwittingly down into the transportation vergance, and he had landed alone on Ahch-To... perhaps he had used their force bond to project himself to her side to revive her, fading away once his strength gave out. 

He’d said he didn’t even know his own location for months... he had been too near death’s door to even wonder... hadn’t he said that he had been healed by those mystical island caretakers? And he was there right now, in her old quarters, perhaps sitting upon her cot, mourning her, wanting her!

What she had done to him, the level of betrayal he must be feeling right now... she didn’t understand how he HADN’T been filled with enough blinding rage to practically kill Poe on the spot; or her. But he’d never really hurt her, even before she’d known she loved him; he’d always had compassion for her, back when he was her supposed enemy. The same couldn't be said for her, she sadly admitted to herself; SHE had stabbed HIM back on the remains of the Death Star, on Kef Bir, in a fit of possessed rage. Since then, since she’d healed him, the darkness seemed to have been completely eradicated from his soul. Yesterday... he had been kind, understanding, had actually pleaded with her for leniency on behalf of Poe! It showed his innate goodness and the growth of his spirit. He had truly died and been reborn. 

She wanted to go to him, to comfort him, to hold him in her arms; and for a moment she was tempted to test out her rusty force bond connection to transport herself to him over time and space, the way he had last night. But she quickly decided against that idea; she’d only just made love with Poe several hours ago (lovemaking for the first time this morning, before it had been nothing more than fu... well, sleeping together) she stopped herself, shaking her head. Her panties were still sticky wet and she needed a shower. She would take the day to cool off, to prepare herself for what she would say to Ben, and would go to him tomorrow.

This whole internal monologue had taken a lot out of her; hours had passed, with her still sitting on the chair by the door, and she was suddenly aware that she was starving and exhausted, yet surprisingly feeling much better, much more like her old self. She bounced up and took a long, boiling hot shower, symbolically scrubbing away the remnants of her anger, grief and depression. 

She felt so much better when she was done, so she walked around the room, collecting all of Poe’s belongings that he had left around her room, placing them in a box; then, still feeling hungry, she decided to brave the cafeteria, as it was past the usual dinner time. She tiptoed across the hall first, to place the box in front of Poe’s door, not knowing if he was within the room or not. She had placed a note inside, thanking Poe again for the two months he had put up with her, begging his forgiveness for any pain she had caused him, hoping he would always be her dear friend and keep her in his heart, as she would do for him.

In the cafeteria, Poe was no where to be seen, which she was thankful for. After their tumultuous and confusing morning, she didn’t know if she would be able to bear being around him again for a long while. She did see Rose and Finn, sitting at the table farthest from the door, who noticed her and waved her over. She realized in shock that they appeared to be a couple, to be in love, if their body language was any indication. She had missed so much, she thought, chagrined.

The sweet little Kaydel Connix was sitting with them. Rey had been too absorbed in herself to ever get to know her well, but she had a vague impression that Kay was an empathetic soul. Now, observing her surroundings for the first time in a year, she had the desire to be friendly and to get to know her. She smiled kindly at Kay, and was a little surprised when she only received a cold, fake smile in return. She supposed she had accidentally offended her sometime in the past year without noticing. She shrugged and sat down with her tray of food. Trying to make conversation was much harder than she had anticipated though, her old friends didn’t seem to know what to make of her. 

“How are you Rey?” Rose finally asked her cheerfully, after a brief but awkward silence, of Rey picking at her food, feeling foolish. “You certainly look better... much more like yourself I mean!” 

“I’m... I guess I’m good. I’m actually feeling... I don’t know, much better than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m planning something...” Rey began, not knowing what to even say. Her friends looked at her, interested, except for Kaydel, who stared at her plate rigidly without even raising her eyes. Kay still hadn’t seen Poe since her conversation with him the night before; she assumed Rey’s cheerful demeanor meant she had gotten back together with him, and she couldn’t bear to sit there and possibly hear something about Poe come out of Rey’s mouth. Her appetite lost, she played with the food on her plate, building up the courage to excuse herself and leave the room, but not wanting to seem rude at the same time.

Rey, completely clueless where Kaydel was concerned, had her thoughts intent on a different matter. She was considering how much she should tell her friends about what had occurred. She assumed Poe would eventually get around to telling Finn, his co-general, about Ben Solo being alive. Maybe she should talk to Finn privately, and make sure they wouldn’t try to go after him. She doubted they would, Poe gave no indication whatsoever that the thought had even occurred to him. She hoped he realized that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were not the same people. And would stay away from the man she loved, for her sake. Poe was a good one, he wouldn’t act out of spite or vengeance, that was one of the things she appreciated the most about him.

While she had been lost in thought, Kaydel stood up, said goodbye to Rose and Finn over the top of Rey’s head, and walked away without another word. No one else being in earshot, their table was affording them all the privacy Rey could have expected. She decided to brave it, and give her full explanation to her friends.

“Friends... I don’t know how or where to start. So I’ll just jump right in. You know I’ve sort of been with Poe the past couple of months... but I haven’t been myself since Exegol, and I KNOW I haven’t been good for him. There was no way he could emotionally connect with me... I didn’t let him. And last night, something happened to snap me out of my head, and I realized it was time to end things with Poe.”

Rose and Finn were dismayed; they had been so pleased to see Rey and Poe together, thinking his cheerfulness and surprising capacity of patience with her would be the best way to get Rey out of her depressed state. They exclaimed their concern, then waited for Rey to continue.

“Trust me guys, I’m beating myself up about this... I’m afraid I hurt him terribly. I want you to both keep your eyes on him, maybe help introduce him to another girl... like that sweet Kaydel who was just sitting by me. By the way, what’s her deal with me...? I’m afraid I did something awful to her but I just don’t remember...” Rey was rambling on, stalling. She wasn’t sure HOW to bring up Ben Solo... the whole Dyad soul mate force connection was a daunting thing to have to explain.

“I have no idea...” Finn began, but stopped as Rose snorted, rolling her eyes so far back into her head it looked painful. “Dummy... it’s only because she’s like OBSESSED with Dameron. It’s all jealousy Rey, poor sweet thing. He looks at her as a little sister, and it’s killing her. But I’ll be sure to pass on to her that you think they’d be good together.” Rey was horrified, wondering how many more people’s lives she had touched in such a negative way. She sat their brooding on the news for a while, a cloud resting on her brow. Rose noticed her retreating into her typical shell, and rushed to divert her thoughts. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it Rey, honestly, you are all adults and Poe has the right to be with who he wants. She’ll get over it, she just needs to fall in love with someone more realistic for her...” Rose paused, then pouted at Rey, “Are you SURE you and Poe are over??? I mean, he’s HOT and totally obsessed with you...”

“Yup it’s over Rose... breakup sex and everything...” Rey, trying not to cry, sighed, and shook her head sheepishly. “Oooooohhhh breakup sex!!! Finn go away! Rey, details!” Rose gushed, leaning in at full attention. She was thrilled at Rey’s seeming return to the land of the living, she missed having girl talk. Kaydel was super sweet, but she was too naive to always GET Rose’s often explicit sense of humor, and was no replacement for Rey.

“And THAT will have to wait Rose.” Rey grimaced, and her lip quivered just a bit.  
“it’s very painful to think of... it’s too raw. I’ll just say, it was beautiful... and heartbreaking.... And....” she gathered herself together, inhaling deeply, to continue in a more serious voice, “that brings me to the reason why all of this occurred in the first place. Finn, I’ll need your full attention here... and your solemn promise not to react until you hear all I have to say.”

Finn and Rose both promised her, and they listened at full attention, as she began to tell her long, sad story. For the first time, they heard of her history with Kylo Ren, his symbolic death, and the rise of Ben Solo. She spoke of the Dyad bond, their force sessions, of their tumultuous love affair, of their coming together finally, sealing their love with a kiss. She described the events as they occurred on Kef Bir, and then her journey to Exegol, how Ben had joined her, of their confrontation and subsequent defeat of Palpatine. How Ben had saved her, given her his own life force, and disappeared in her arms. How she had thought he was dead...”

Finn and Rose listened with bated breath, neither saying a word, their expressions changing as Rey spoke, from surprise, to shock and disbelief; then sympathy for their friend. Towards the end of her long explanation, the truth was starting to dawn on them.. Finn’s mouth was gaping, and Rose positively gasped out when Rey said she had “THOUGHT” he was dead... thought??? Was he alive?

“Yesterday, while everyone was at the party... Ben Solo showed up in my room, over our force bond. He is alive. And I must go to him!” 

Rey looked across the table at her friends. They were frozen in place, seemingly incapable of forming words. “But how?” Rose finally managed to ask. Finn’s expression was full of excitement and hope. He trusted Rey implicitly, and was absolutely convinced that General Princess Leia Organa’s son was redeemed and that he was to be protected at all costs, for his friend’s sake. He WAS a huge softie, and had a tender spot for an honest to goodness enemies to lovers romance. Maybe his colorless, bleak childhood with the First Order was to blame; but he was lapping this UP! “Damn it Rey, tell us!” He yelled out impatiently, echoing Rose’s sentiment exactly. 

Rey smiled in spite of herself at Finn’s enthusiasm... she quickly proceeded to explain to him all she knew or guessed of the rest of Ben’s story. When she finally finished her long tale, she was taken aback by Rose and Finn’s reaction. Finn congratulated her and wished her joy, telling her to go get her man. Rose came around and hugged Rey so tight she nearly choked her to death. 

Rey spent the rest of the evening with her friends, not tiring of their conversation, listening to their advice and well wishes as they discussed various points of her story over and over. Finn told her he would have her favorite ship, “The Ewok”, checked over first thing in the morning, to make sure it was in tip-top shape for her long journey, and Rose promised to arrange to have several months worth of supplies stocked on board. “You two will probably be too BUSY to even think about leaving that island any time soon... I’ll make sure to pack you a nice bag of sexy lingerie,” she teasingly whispered to Rey, and funnily enough, she wasn’t joking at all. Rey went pale at Rose’s words, butterflies fluttering around her abdomen. She was suddenly nervous, and worriedly hoped that Ben would really love and accept her once they took their relationship to the next level. She hoped these days apart weren’t giving HIM any second thoughts... 

She renewed her determination to visit him over their force bond the next day while her ship was being prepared. Saying goodnight to her friends soon after, she retired to her bedroom; and for the entire night she dreamed she was in Ben Solo’s arms.


	6. Rhapsody

“Ben,” Rey was moaning out in her sleep, as she tossed from side to side. “Ben, oh!” Suddenly Rey woke up, blinked, and cursed as she realized she was completely alone. She’d been having the most wonderful dream; Ben had been with her... she’d been naked in his warm, strong arms, on her old cot in the cabin on Ahch-To, they had been making passionate, heart rending love, and she’d woken up at the worst possible moment, right before they had reached their climax. It was still dark outside... looking over at her time keeper, she saw it was just after 3 a.m. She groaned loudly, shaking; her heart ached, her stomach clenching with desire, and she felt an uncomfortable wet spot growing on her panties. It had seemed SO REAL, she could still smell the scent of his skin, she could taste his mouth. Unable to stand it any longer, she made a snap decision, to go to him NOW, to use their force bond, the utter impossibility of waiting another two whole days for him evident. 

Excitedly, she stood up, running her fingers through her disheveled hair. She pulled off her wet panties, throwing them over to her laundry pile, preferring to go to Ben without any. She would make him understand by any means necessary that she wanted only him, would accept only him. She glanced at her reflection in the little mirror hanging next to the door; her eyes sparkled, her cheeks were flushed and her lips were rosy pink and pouting. She was wearing nothing but a new silky black nighty, simple but sexy. The hemline went down just below her bum, had a scooped neckline and thin straps for sleeves. She’d never worn it before, but wanted to keep herself looking good JUST IN CASE Ben decided to show up in her room before the three days had passed. 

Pleased with her reflection, she relaxed her mind, feeling for the force, for Ben. Suddenly, she felt it strongly, the tug of their force connection, and surprisingly, it was an effortless thing to pull herself along it. A whooshing sound, a flash of light, then dark, and she was in Ben’s cabin, less than a foot away from him. 

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she heard a gasp come from Ben. The first thing she noticed were his eyes, directly across from hers, as he sat in front of her on the edge of the cot. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but his underwear, looking as if he too had just awoken from a dream. Star light shone in through the small windows, lighting up the room with a mild glow, and the temperature was warm, slightly humid, as the air fizzled and popped with the energy between them. The shock at seeing her there took away his power of speech. Breathlessly, eyes glazed over with his yearning, he reached for her, and she jumped into his arms, straddling his lap, lips melting into his. 

They kissed wildly, almost violently. Rey ran her hands all over his chest and arms, crushing herself into his body, wanting to be closer, closer! Ben’s large hands were dancing over her, he wished they were larger, so he could touch her everywhere, to encompass her all at once. Her lips momentarily broke away from his, for just long enough to help him pull the black slip of a nightgown off and over her head, throwing it into the dark surrounding them. Ben’s sharp inhalation of breath cracked loudly through the still air of the cabin, as he beheld her in all her naked, disheveled beauty for the first time. He couldn’t believe she was here, in his arms and on his lap. He kissed her wetly and noisily against her neck, groaning, down to one of her perky breasts, fitting as much as possible in his mouth, kneading the second with his hand. Rey was gasping and moaning out his name as he explored her with his tongue. She tasted so good, and smelled so intoxicating, he wanted to explore her all over. Before he could act on that thought, Rey reached down and felt him for the first time through the dark material of his boxers, and she gasped in shock at the size of him. Eyes wide, she measured him with her tiny hand. He was MASSIVE. Poe had been no small handful, but Ben was almost double that. She slipped her hand inside his boxers to grasp him, causing Ben to moan out loudly. “Ohhh Ben!” Rey choked out, staring at him wide eyed, “you’re a MONSTER!” “Yes I am,” he growled out at that, pleased and proud, flipping them over onto the bed, her reaction to him driving him to distraction. Rey wanted him NOW, she begged him to take her; still kissing her as he kicked off his boxers, sucking at her lips and neck and biting her ears. Finally free, he eased himself above her, and gaspingly hesitated... “Rey,” he groaned, “are you sure?!” “Kriff Ben, I want you NOW!” Rey screeched, overcoming all of Ben’s hesitation. She nearly screamed as she felt the large tip of him at her entrance, starting to slide in, the friction unbearable. “Fuck Rey, you’re so tight!” Ben growled in her ear. Rey was unable to form coherent words, but every animalistic sound she was making denoted her intense pleasure. 

Ben forced himself to slow down a bit, to really be able to relish this moment with her, that he had been dreaming of for years. As Kylo Ren, Rey had been his deepest, darkest fantasy. He gently began to move his hips, sliding himself slowly out, then firmly and swiftly back inside her, as far as he could push himself. Starlight kissed their entwined bodies as they sprawled out on the tiny bed. Her loud, almost inhuman cries with each thrust concerning him at first, he paused and asked her if she was in pain. “No, heavens no, I love it, don’t stop...” Rey managed to cry out, gasping. 

Ben then placed his lips against her ear, and poured out his heart to her in raunchy raw whispers between the thrusts of his devastatingly pleasurable onslaught. His deep voice gave her almost as much pleasure as what he was doing to her physically. “I finally have you my Rey... I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you... you’re sexier than I’ve ever imagined... I love you... my soul... my darling... oh Rey... you feel so good... I can’t stand it... I don’t deserve this... or you... Rey.. my sweetheart... I never want this to end... do you love me darling... do you want me... do you like this... what I’m doing to you?” 

“Yessss yess,” Rey replied each time, with a cry, “I love you Ben, yes I want you... it feels so good... please don’t stop... please! Kriff you’re big... you’re massive! I’ve never... felt anything... like this!... Ben... Ben... Ben!” 

As their pleasure grew, it soon became too much to bear... unable to speak anymore, Ben kissed her deeply, then pressing his face into her hair as she fit hers against his neck, they moved together, faster and harder, moaning and crying out, until they both found their release, their shuddering climax, stars erupting in front of their eyes as the force swirled warmly around them. It had been almost an out of body experience for Rey, she’d never felt anything remotely like this night. He’d filled her in a way she’d never been filled before, touching places she hadn’t known the existence of, pleasuring her in ways she’d never previously imagined. She held Ben in her arms, her quivering legs wrapped around him still, refusing to let him leave her or remove himself from her. That was just fine with Ben, and he lay there, pressing gently into her, supporting his weight on his elbows and knees, waiting to catch his breath. “Oh Rey,” he finally panted... “Rey if I died now, from pleasure, I would die content.”

“At least people would say you died doing what you love...” Rey giggled. Ben laughed out loud at that into her neck, tickling her, and she squirmed and wrestled around under him, laughing. 

Ben finally rolled over, holding her possessively on top of him, but to Rey’s dismay she was starting to feel the force bond closing, trying to pull her away... she was too relaxed to hold it. “Ben, the bond, I’m going!” She blinked and suddenly she was on the bed of her own room. Frustrated and sad, she was trying to catch the unruly threads of the force bond again to return to him, when she heard the familiar swooshing sound, and looking down under her she saw Ben appear in her room. “Ohhh!” She exclaimed smiling, as she contentedly threw herself back down against him in his arms.

“I couldn’t let you leave me so soon after taking advantage of me ma’am!” Ben said mischievously. Rey giggled and strained her lips up to kiss him again, before cuddling back in his arms, “Thanks for following me Solo!”

“Rey?” Ben questioned her, curious, “How did you know I wanted you? Did you sense it? I had just woken up from the most agonizing dream, of you... we were together and just when it got good I woke up. It was torture.”

“You too? I had the same dream!” Rey exclaimed, excited at the possibility that their minds had been so connected that they had been in each other’s heads during sleep. “I woke up and wanted you, and less than five minutes later I was able to easily pass through to you over the force bond. It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before... I was completely a part of your surroundings. In the past I was only able to see you.”

“Our minds and bond must be getting stronger... since we shared life force and finally admitted our love to each other with that kiss. And now we’re sharing naughty dreams...” Ben smiled, reaching down to cup her bottom, adjusting himself to press into her more firmly. “Although I’ve enjoyed my erotic dreams of you in the past, (and there have been MANY erotic dreams), I must say NONE of them did justice to just how indescribably wonderful it is to experience the real thing with you. You’re a goddess.” As he spoke, the edge of desire was returning to his voice, and Rey caught the feeling, sparks erupting in her nether regions once more. “Big Ben” was still standing tall, pressed underneath her, Rey excitedly mused to herself, as she pulled herself up into a sitting position on top of him, still straddling his hips. 

“So if you had the same dream, and woke up needing me, why didn’t you come?” Rey pouted at him, wiggling herself over him distractingly. “Because my little scavenger, I had no way of knowing you’d shared my dream; for all I knew you were...” he frowned, changing the subject a little, “besides, I told you I wasn’t going to show up for three days. Looks like someone didn’t listen to my command when I told her to wait for me...” he grinned up at her. “Well in that case, maybe you should go...” Rey teased him, eyebrow raised as she knelt down to look into his eyes, sliding herself more insistently along his length. Ben groaned, now breathing heavily, sitting up to kiss her, as she adjusted herself in his lap, poising her dripping, slightly sore but needy center above him in preparation for round two.

•••

That evening, as Rey walked around her room, packing her few belongings in preparation for her journey to Ahch-To, alone again, she relived the blissful morning she had spent with Ben. He’d involuntarily disappeared soon after their second coming together, where she had rode him hard, sitting up in her bed. Half an hour later he’d returned, and they’d cuddled and made out for a long time in her easy chair, before he’d taken her for the third time standing up against the wall. Rey sincerely hoped her walls were as soundproof as they were claimed to be; because with all the banging, cries and noises coming out of her room, it probably sounded like someone was being murdered in there, she gloated to herself. Ben had carried her over to the bed after the last time, where they talked for over an hour, making plans for her to come to him. She had finally fallen asleep, utterly exhausted in his arms. When she woke up several hours later, he was gone. However, she discovered he’d left a beautifully handwritten note on her pillow, telling her that he loved her always and would be back as soon as possible; and she was comforted knowing she would be with him soon, for good. 

Finally packed, she dragged her bag down the hallway to the hangar where her ship, the Ewok was docked. Her face reflecting her glorious mood, joy was radiating from her like heat. As she approached her ship, she saw her friends Finn and Rose walking down the gang plank towards her, and to her mild dismay she noticed they were accompanied by Poe. Now she was fully Ben’s, she would have preferred not to have any more interactions with Poe that could even remotely be construed as unfaithfulness to Ben. Her cheeks flushed slightly, then went pale, as Poe seriously walked towards her, looking into her eyes. He needed her to know he had no hard feelings, that he was a gentleman and wanted all the best for her. He held out his hand, and she gave him hers. “Rey,” he began, keeping firm control of his voice, “I wanted to be out here to see you off. I want you to know again, that I’m here, always here if you need me. And I’ll always be your friend.” His voice faltered a little at that, as Rey gently thanked him. Just then, BB-8 rushed around the corner, swirling round and round Rey and Poe’s legs. “That reminds me!” Poe continued, his voice almost back to his normal tone. “BB-8 is going with you. I won’t take no for an answer. That droid is as much yours as it is mine now. And I’ll feel more comfortable knowing you have him with you, in case of any emergency, instead of a droid that is strange to you.” He didn’t say that he had this sad, foolish idea in his heart that relished their shared connection to the droid, even after they had broken up. He liked to think of her having one of his old belongings with her, connecting them over space. Rey thanked him again, giving him an awkward, formal little hug, and Poe walked away, sadly, hands in his pockets. Rey looked after him thoughtfully, but knew he would get over her soon enough; when she’d hugged him, she’d had a glimpse of one possible future for him. As he passed out the door, Rey noticed he was joined by Kaydel, and she smiled to herself, seeing her vision may be starting to come true already. 

Parting tenderly from her friends Rose and Finn, Rey and BB-8 soon boarded the Ewok and took off, beginning their journey to Ahch-To. The three day journey seemed long to Rey, but Ben made sure to visit her each day for as long a time as the force allowed, so the majority of each day and night was spent in feverish pleasure. Bb-8 soon learned (the hard way, unfortunately) to avoid the living quarters of the Ewok at all times, especially when Ben was over. 

At long last, the trip was over. Finally landing, her heart in her throat, Rey waited impatiently for the ship’s hatch to open. Then she saw him! Standing there, ruggedly handsome, grinning from ear to ear and waiting for her, was her own living Ben. She flew into his arms, and that’s where she stayed for a long time, as they held each other, blissfully content, while the sun set behind them. Scooping her up into his powerful arms, Ben Solo bridal carried his beautiful Rey across the island, and into their cozy cot, and that’s where they stayed till morning.


	7. Hammer to Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning.
> 
> Mentions of suicidal thoughts, previous emotional and verbal abuse. Five stages of grief. 
> 
> Nothing too bad just mentioned briefly as part of the character’s background.

Four months had passed swiftly and blissfully for Rey and Ben on their island paradise.... but these same months had gone quite differently for General Dameron, back on rebel base. The same time passage felt drastically dissimilar for Rey and Poe; Rey noticing in dismay that the days with Ben were never long enough, would lament that any time spent sleeping was a waste; while for Poe, time stood still, and was his enemy, a continuous torment. The days dragged torturously into the nights, and the nights seemed to go on and on without end for him. He was quite a different person than he had been before; Rey probably wouldn’t have recognized him easily had she been back to see him, and would have been shocked at the changes she found. Poe was grown worn; a straggling depression beard covered his face, his hair long and surly. His bloodshot eyes were framed in perpetual dark rings, and he had a continual look of being dazed, not knowing where he was. Finn had actually had Poe secretly followed and watched for a time; he was concerned the General was taking mind altering drugs or substances to dull his pain. But no, he did nothing unusual, going through his daily routine, except for having a complete lack of interest in anything going on around him. He did his work in an absent minded way, and then would sit there, staring off into space, lost in a sad, depressed gloom. 

Rose had been keeping in touch with Rey, they sent and received holo-messages to each other weekly, so she knew better than to taint Rey’s mind with any more grief and regret at her history with Poe. When Rey would ask her, how “everyone” was doing, Rose would cheerfully and pointedly reply that ALL of their friends were well, and happy. Rey visibly would relax at this answer, and, with the fear of causing Poe a depression and grief similar to what she had felt for Ben reassured, she would happily talk about her life on the island, how she didn’t deserve this happiness with Ben. “Honey, I don’t deserve YOU!” was Ben’s usual reply, and his face would dart into the frame of the hologram as he leaned in to kiss Rey. 

Where was Kaydel Konnix during this time? She had stayed around during the first month and a half post breakup for Poe; watching over him with kindness, forcing him to get up, to eat, patiently listening to him talking about Rey for hours and hours and hours on end.... the pain she felt at this conversation selflessly suppressed, focusing only on the satisfaction she felt at being so useful to him in his grief. Eventually though, when Poe’s words were finally spent, he had gone into a more silent phase of his depression; and that cut Kay to the quick. Noticing her pain, Finn had put her up for an aid mission to a faraway planet system that would occupy her for the next three months, and she had gone gratefully, hoping that when she was back, Poe would be mentally well enough to enjoy her company once more.

•••

“GET UP DAMERON!” a furious voice barked suddenly at his bedside.

Poe jumped, lifting himself out of bed as he fumbled around at his hip for a nonexistent blaster, startled out of his feverish, depressed dream fog of sad thoughts and doleful memories. Looking up in bleary eyed wonder, he gawked at the livid face and form of the normally placid Kaydel standing, arms crossed, in front of him, impatiently tapping her foot. Her shiny badge announced proudly that she was the newly appointed Lieutenant Kaydel Konnix now, her applaudable actions during the mission leading her to widespread recognition and fame. She was rather tanned now, and her stance was powerful, her head lifted high, her gaze direct. At the end of her loudly pronounced exclamation, she had given a firm “stomp!” with her foot on the laundry and garbage strewn floor, causing a cup of water placed along the edge of the nightstand to tip over, spilling its contents; which proceeded to drip furiously into the (empty) metal garbage can.

Poe started at her, surprised and shocked at her sudden reappearance in his life, no, his ROOM. Laying there, shirtless in his disarrayed bed, the “drip, drip, drip” of the water matching the pounding of his heart, he tried to lay a finger on what EXACTLY was different about her; but his muddled head felt confused, and he stopped in bewilderment, waiting for her to speak. He didn’t have to wait long. 

“POE DAMERON! What in the kriffing GALAXY has come over you? You’re FULL OF SHIT POE! I come back, after THREE MONTHS and what do I hear!? That you are STILL IN HERE, pining away for a girl who NEVER loved you, NEVER cared for you? Like a COWARD? And you KNEW IT, you wanted her BECAUSE your cowardly heart was too AFRAID of a long term commitment! You kriffing took ADVANTAGE of a girl who was grieving for another, obviously NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND!!!! Then had the AUDACITY to ask her to pick YOU, when her SOUL MATE CAME BACK from THE GRAVE! Racking her with guilt, ALLOWING HER to BLAME herself for hurting YOU!!! When YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!” Kaydel stopped, unable to continue for the moment, gasping for breath. Poe was staring at her, his mouth and eyes wide open, in utter horror.

Finally catching her breath, Kaydel continued her merciless barrage as if possessed; unable to keep in the words came to her as an inspiration, whether of good or evil. “POE DAMERON, your parents would be ASHAMED to see their son like this! You’ve become a complete slob! Unshaven, hair wild, smelling like a nerf herder, mourning over a two month old unhealthy relationship that ended four months ago! Hell, I‘M ashamed of you!” Her voice broke, as her anger died away, and she continued even yet, “I didn’t think this was you... you’re kidding yourself, you NEVER LOVED HER. You didn’t even want anything serious till she said she was dumping you! You TOLD ME she was distant and kept things from ever being intimate, and FINN told ME that you were convinced the two of you wouldn’t last another month!!! You are just being spoiled, wanting what you can’t have, and you’re SO BLIND. You don’t see that this is about Zorii, that Rey’s dumping you is bringing up the shit from your past, your abusive relationship... you don’t see that there are people IN YOUR LIFE, literally in front of your EYES, who LOVE YOU, who wouldn’t HURT YOU like she did. But you LIKE to feel sorry for yourself, you can’t stand that a girl dumped you again, for the first time since Zorii did. My eyes have been opened Poe. Ever since I first saw you, you have been my idol; I admired and loved you for so long that I WAS BLIND.” Poe started at her dumbly, unable to comprehend her words, stupefied. 

“Poe Dameron... I was your best friend, I was always there for you, during your ups and downs, your crazy girl problems; I supported you and defended you when the old spice running rumor resurfaced and started going around base; I listened to you for hours while you talked about yourself and your thoughts and problems, getting nothing back from you in return. You NEVER would notice me, never SEE ME. You don’t know me, who I am, don’t see that maybe your best friend could be the perfect girl for you. Don’t see that I’ve loved you since I can remember, and suffered misery every time you picked up a fresh girl-of-the-month. I came back eager to see the man I’ve always loved, my best friend, hoping against hope that he would be waiting for me, happy to see me at least, even platonically! And I find you still balls deep in unhealthy thoughts, hiding in your room, looking like shit, abandoning your friends... yes Finn and Rose, Poe... they are WORRIED ABOUT YOU. And you know what Poe..? I’m DONE. Do you hear me? I’M DONE.” With that, she furiously turned around and marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her, leaving a dumbstruck Poe frozen in place, staring helplessly after her.

Lieutenant Kaydel didn’t stop walking until she got to the landing dock, and after talking in hurried tones to General Finn, boarded the next passenger ship to Coruscant, (less than 4 hours after her arrival back to base) where she volunteered to stay and work indefinitely. 

•••

By degrees, the gears in Poe’s mind began to churn, the outlandish words and claims of Kaydel revolving furiously around his brain. Poe felt as if he had been finally woken up from a long, harrowing nightmare. He had passed through shock, denial, anger, depression, and had now finally began to understand the truth of Kay’s statements; he accepted that this wasn’t really about Rey at all, that this was bigger than Rey. His pride had been hurt, and this event had triggered his old, largely unacknowledged wounds, ripping them open and bringing them to the surface. He had never really worked through his troubles before, besides the ranting sessions he’d had with Kaydel, always a kind and patient, though rather naive, listener. 

When Zorii had come back into his life, for the fifth time (after he had been so good, keeping himself away from her influence for years; she had been the one who’d pushed him into the spice trade after all... she had been emotionally and verbally abusive, had made him so dependent on her) he’d thought things would end differently; he believed her when she said she had reformed herself, that she had changed; he’d accepted her grand gestures, her promises, her sweet talk, wanting to believe her... and when she had finally broken up with him, after a miserable six weeks, for the fifth time (and LAST time, he now told himself), he had reacted in his typical way; self esteem wounded, he’d rebounded by taking ADVANTAGE of a grieving girl, lonely out of her mind. 

Yes. He accepted that hard truth now. He HAD taken advantage, whether it had been intentional or not. He had known that Rey was suffering, had heard of her sadness and depression from Finn and Rose during his absence from base; learned that there had been a time when they feared she was suicidal, as she muttered and raved that she should have died, that she didn’t deserve to live, when her life had meant death for Ben; and in his vanity he’d told himself that he was just what she’d needed to get over her sorrow... that they were both sad and grieving and would do each other good. If they never DID get over it, so what, it was never meant to be serious anyway, they were just doing each other a favor, comforting each other. 

Poe was heartily ashamed of himself now, and dwelt long upon his mistakes and misconceptions, wincing when he remembered what Kaydel had said to him. Had she said she’d LOVED HIM? Like, not only as his best friend, not at all like a sister? Romantic love, had wanted him? She’d called him her idol. It knocked the wind out of him to think of that. He’d always deeply admired her, felt like himself around her, but had stupidly contented himself with keeping her as his “little sister” so as not to taint their pure and wholesome relationship. He’d been so afraid of losing her he’d never even tolerated the idea of trying for something more. But now she said she was done. DONE. With him. She’d shouted at him and left. She hadn’t been cruel, or abusive... but justly, righteously angry at him. He buried his head in his pillow, groaning out loud, but didn’t sleep, laying there completely lost in thought... elated at the arrival of clarity after years of suppressing his thoughts and emotions; melancholy at the thought that maybe it was not enough, that he was too late.

He had always loved Kaydel. As a friend? He examined his feelings, for hours, going over every previous interaction they’d had over the years. She was womanly, beautiful, she was even hot; but before he’d even noticed any of that, he had admired her empathy, her intelligence, her mind. Watching their old holo messages they’d sent to each other during their time apart, something stirred deep in the fiber of his being. Smiling down at her image, taking down the framed picture he always kept nearby of the two of them, his arm wrapped around her waist as he stood smilingly between her and Leia... he DID love her, to some extent at least, he admitted to himself as he confusedly tried to figure out how much, and for how long; he became lost in her image, realizing that not only was she beautiful, smart, sweet, and kind, but she was his best friend who he told everything too... she knew his heart, and had still admired him... loved him? He remembered the times he had been stirred with a more-than-friendly feeling towards her, something akin to desire, to admiration, to romantic love, that he had frantically suppressed, believing it was the only way to keep her in his life. Because old Poe had believed that love was painful, that being in love meant heartache, abuse and hurt. But the new Poe was staring to see how mistaken he had been; could start to envision a life filled with mutual respect, confidence, joy, kindness... and he liked that image. 

He was ashamed, enlightened; lay there almost paralyzed all night, feverishly thinking and dreaming impossible dreams. The next day he forced himself up. He slowly cleaned up his chambers; too embarrassed about the state of it to even call a droid for assistance. She had called him a slob; told him he’d smelled. It was a true, but he could fix it. He would show her he could change, that her just critiques would be attended too. After 5 hours’ work, he was finally done. He’d changed the bed clothes, done two loads of laundry; he’d collected a giant bag of trash, and loaded up a few trays with dirty dishes, setting all of it outside his door for the house droid to pick up; he then organized his belongings, putting everything back in its proper place, before turning on the vacuum droid, letting it lose to in his rooms. He hoped that the scented candle on the coffee table, combined with an open window, would be enough to combat the musty smell. He thoughtfully set the smiling picture of him and Kay upon the table next to the candle. It was a shrine, a silent prayer, and brought him peace. 

Poe then went into the bathroom, shaved his unkempt beard and mustache, then showered and washed his tousled salt-and-pepper hair, which he combed and styled. Dressing up in a clean, ironed outfit, he decided nervously that it was time to talk, and he went to the cafeteria, hoping to find Kaydel. Popping a tiny box in his pocket hesitantly before leaving his room, he’d examined himself in the mirror (he appeared so much better than he’d looked for a long time... a determined, excited expression resting on his face). He had been desperately coming up with a crazy plan.

“Hey Poe!” Finn walked him to him, surprised and wary to see him looking so... normal! “How have you been man?”

“Where’s Kaydel?!” was the only reply a severely anxious Poe could manage, as he scanned the crowd, looking for her face. He was just starting to process that possibly, maybe, she wasn’t here. 

“Um... well she claimed a spot on the Coruscant mission that left yesterday... she went with them last night... Poe?!? Where are you going??!” Finn’s eyes popped open even wider in surprise as Poe abruptly turned and started walking away.

“I’m going to find Kaydel Konnix, and ask her to marry me.” Poe announced to a flabbergasted Finn. 

•••

When the enormous, rather slow ship carrying Lieutenant Kaydel Konnix finally landed on Coruscant six days later, she hadn’t the slightest notion that there would be a sexy, flustered looking pilot waiting for her there, on the must faster, older hunk-of-junk ship that had arrived just half a day before. 

Poe stood nervously in front of the Millennium Falcon, fidgeting as he waited for Kaydel to disembark. Poor Kay had spent the last several days miserably, regretting her harsh accusations, fearing she had overstepped, crossing boundaries that might have ended her friendship with Poe for good, worried she had inflicted more damage on him than any of the other women had done. So imagine her surprise, when she exited the ship and spotted Poe mere yards away; how her knees locked in place, rooting her to the spot as she trembled. 

Poe and Kay slowly walked towards one another, and Poe grinned at her lovingly, looking at her with new eyes, in a way he had never looked at her before, causing her to blush and tremble; when Poe leaned down for a bear hug, an agitated Kaydel melted into his warm embrace. 

Finally pulling back, and looking soulfully into her eyes, he slowly dropped down to one knee, holding out his mother’s haysien steel ring. “Kaydel my darling, I love you, will you marry me?”

“Oh you big idiot! Of course not!” Kaydel gasped out, laughing hysterically and rolling her eyes as she swatted the hand carrying the ring away, and pulling him back up to his feet, flushing and embarrassed. “Do I have to teach you everything?” She continued coyly, wrapping herself in his arms, as he looked down at her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. “I’m definitely NOT going to marry anyone yet, Poe, especially you... but I DO love you back, I always have, and would like to explore that with you; you COULD ask me on a date for a start... and maybe kiss me?” 

Poe grinned down into her sweet eyes, the sweetest he had ever seen; and she sighed, at long last tasting his smile as it molded itself into her own.


	8. Somebody to Love

Life on Ahch-To with Ben by her side was everything that Rey could have hoped or asked for. They spent their days and nights exploring each other, mind, body and soul. Ben was extremely talkative, especially during the first few months, and spent every waking moment that wasn’t OTHERWISE occupied (with more intimate pursuits) in conversation with Rey. For so long he had felt lonely, neglected, misunderstood, cast aside. Then, as Supreme Leader, he had been feared, hated, with enemies surrounding him, even in the ranks of the First Order (maybe especially in the First Order.) In his entire life of 31 years, he had never once felt enough at ease with a person to speak his mind and share his hidden thoughts. Since he had first seen her, he had imagined often how it would be, living with Rey; since he had glimpsed the make-up of her mind during their first meeting in the forest, he had fantasized about the complete freedom of speech he wished to share with her, almost as often as he’d fantasied about other things. 

Rey was elated by Ben’s communicativeness, by his confidence with her. She had never had anyone in her life either who had loved her or cared enough about her to want to know HER; waiting for love and acceptance for so long, she had ever remained hopeful, and Ben was now her reward. Just the level of complete understanding and sympathy they felt in each other was in itself thrilling; but they soon found they were able to communicate somewhat telepathically as well, over their Dyad bond. They often shared dreams, and could sense each other’s feelings and emotions without trying; and when they were really focusing, or when they were in the throes of passion, making love, the bond intensified, and they were even able to hear each other’s hidden words and secret thoughts, making their connection even more encompassing and electrifying. 

Ben had spent his lonely days of recovery on the Island well; for starters, he had made many improvements to their cabin, including having built a much larger bed for the two of them to share (hey, he had been hopeful of having her with him soon, and who could blame him for hoping after the way she had kissed him and held him on Exegol? After her confession that she had wanted to take his hand on Kef Bir?) He also made a table and bench to sit upon, and threw together some storage boxes for the room. Every morning, he tended to the thala-sirens, keeping the females for their nutritious milk, and using the older bulls for occasional slaughter for their purple meat, smoking it and preserving it with salt collected from the shore, so it would last a long time. Fishing was done once or twice a week... it was a soothing past time for him, and the seas were stocked full of delicious fish of all shapes and sizes. He never could bring himself to eat a porg, their intelligent looking, human-like eyes were their saving grace; but he kept many as pets, and they allowed him to collect their unfertilized eggs for his breakfast. He had expanded the borders of Luke’s old garden of herbs and root vegetables, the constant balmy weather and sunshine giving them an abundant harvest of fresh produce year round. This, combined with the supplies Rey had brought with her from rebel base, gave them a large and varied diet, enough to survive on indefinitely if necessary. Rey set herself to work in her spare time, preserving vegetables and drying herbs for later use, and Ben showed her how to tend the garden and animals.

Ben’s latest project had been clearing away the burned ashes and debris away from the Jedi Temple, once more making it a beautiful place he would go to daily for reflection; he had a vague idea in mind, of eventually tearing apart both the absolutist teachings of the Jedi and the Sith, and combining it all together to create a new order, the “Force Order”, two sides which are one. A true balance could be reached, could possibly be taught to students. He discussed this with Rey often; it was something they would possibly be open to starting, far into the future. 

Ben did all of these repairs, renovations and innovations with the eager help of the Island Caretakers, whom Rey dubbed “the Force Nuns”. These good creatures adored Ben Solo; always on hand when he was around, stumbling over each other in their earnest desire to be of assistance, and bringing him gifts of fish and herbs, smiling and chattering away in their language, which Ben was starting to understand enough to speak in broken sentences. They had found him when he was nearly dead, after he had been teleported across the vergance from Exegol; they looked upon him as quite their own, after they had tended to him three at a time, night and day, for over six months, using their own primitive form of force magic, standing around him meditating, holding hands and willing the force to heal him. 

On quite the other hand, they looked upon Rey with firm disapproval, and any attempt by her to make friends with them only seemed to make it worse. Ben tried in vain to make them think better of her; but it was all to no avail. They remembered her former “intrusions” on their island home and quiet life; hadn’t she shot her blaster through ancient cabin walls, cut through the centuries old boulder on the cliff with her laser sword, violently attacked their beloved late Jedi Master Luke, frequently clumsily knocked things over, leaving destruction in her wake...? And though they couldn’t exactly prove it, they had a rumor going around their ranks blaming HER for setting fire to the Jedi Tree Temple (which poor Rey had no idea of, and was innocent of we know). To the Force Nuns, Ben’s forceful elegance and charm contrasted so sharply with Rey’s more disruptive demeanor, that nothing either of them could now do would change their minds.

When moans, groans, pants, growls and screams of passion began erupting regularly, day and night, from the steamy cabin Ben and Rey shared, the Island Nuns would shake their heads at each other, clicking their tongues in disapproval as they escaped to a more quiet part of the island, blaming Rey for coming and exciting their dear master so; not QUITE understanding what exactly was going on, their species being primarily asexual, the females very rarely reproducing, a few of them laying a sort of egg every decade or so, when a small pod of the very few males of their species would swim over to the island to fertilize them and leave, neither interacting much with each the other. 

“Ohhhhhhh Ben,” Rey shuddered one such afternoon as she came, unraveling, looking down into Ben’s eyes from above as he pinned her with his strong arms against the wall, while he crouched down between her legs, pleasuring her with relish. “Ohhhhhh Ben,” she finally repeated after she had caught her breath, “THAT WAS.. indescribable!” “Yes I could hear your thoughts very well,” Ben grinned as he broke away, looking up at her with a gleam in his eye, wiping his face with his large hand, “it was something along the lines of ‘akhshhhshshhaghhhkh’ I believe.” “That’s it EXACTLY!” Rey giggled as she sunk down shakily onto his lap, legs weak. “I believe I scared the Force Nuns away again...” Ben’s lips were now on Rey’s neck, sucking bruises into her skin as she shivered and moaned, “my sweet love... better for them to leave now before they accidentally hear what’s gonna happen next...” he murmured. “WHAT’S gonna happen next?” Rey panted as she reached down between her legs to feel Ben... he gasped as she grasped him, erect and throbbing. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard; I’m gonna make you scream Rey,” he growled in her ear, much to the delight of her soul. She yelped as he lifted her up swiftly and turned her around, as if she weighed nothing. She leaned forward then against the window, clutching onto the ledge as he plunged himself swiftly and deeply inside her wetness, causing her to cry out. His attack on her was fast and furious... their foreplay had been long and drawn out this afternoon, and now they both craved satisfaction, Ben was roaring for release. Rey was so LOUD, screaming out with wild abandon as Ben worked almost ragingly behind her, that it really was a blessing the Force Nuns has escaped to the far side of the island... they would have been positively terrified had they heard. 

When they both were finally spent, their intense passion gave way to soft gentle kisses and cuddles, Ben murmuring sweet nothings against Rey’s neck, as she stroked his back and twirled her fingers through his hair. She loved the man in her arms... he could be such a beast, her monster; yet was simultaneously so soft and gentle, she knew she would never, ever get enough of him. 

•••

“Is everything ready? They’ll be here any minute!” Ben anxiously asked Rey, his brow furrowed with worry, his face paler than usual. Rey put down her favorite pet porg (much to its dismay, it chirped out in disgruntled complaint) and rushed over to Ben to reassure him. “Darling, don’t worry so much,” she soothed him, smoothing his brow with her small hand, smiling encouragingly up into his face, “Rose and Finn love you already for my sake, you three will get along splendidly! And Chewy can’t wait to see you again, you know that, you spoke to him just yesterday over the Holo-message.”

Six months had passed since Rey and Ben’s reuniting, and Chewy, Rose and Finn were flying over to Ahch-To on the Falcon to visit their friends, as well as to drop off some more supplies. It would be the first time any of them had seen the reformed Ben; the last time Chewbacca had been in close proximity to him, had been during his interrogation with “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren”... and the time before that, had been during his.. well... “confrontation”... with Han. When Chewy had shot him in his grief. Ben winced when he thought of it; he was suffering wracking guilt and crippling anxiety, and even Rey was having a hard time reassuring him. He hoped against hope that this reunion with his uncle Chewy would go well... would anyone besides Rey REALLY be able to forgive him for his many sins and move on?

Always in touch, Rose told Rey that she and Finn had recently gotten engaged, and so were taking a small break from their duties to spend time together. Chewbacca on the other hand had been off with Lando and Jannah for ages, and, after parting with them on Lando’s new mining planet (set up to give work to some of the freed, reformed storm troopers for fair wages,) he finally checked in at rebel base to pick up the old Millennium Falcon, and wouldn’t rest until they all agreed to go pay Ben and Rey a visit. 

Rey had also been getting regular updates from Rose on the strange tale of a Kay and Poe... starting from the time when a livid Lieutenant Kaydel had gone marching out of Poe’s quarters, straight onto the ship to Coruscant mere hours after her arrival; and then a half deranged, wild looking Poe charging out of his room the next day to follow her.. apparently to propose marriage??? The next thing they heard was a vague report of them being together, but NOT engaged; and for over a week the two of them seemed to have fallen off the map, ignoring everyone’s messages and worrying Finn half to death. “I hope poor Kay finally got some,” Rose had giggled with Rey. At long last, General Poe sheepishly reappeared at Rebel Base, a slightly shy, rather coy looking Kaydel now a fixture at his side; not quite engaged to be married just yet, but very much a couple. He very wholeheartedly insisted on taking over Finn’s responsibilities for a while to allow him to take a break, leading to their plan to go on a journey with Chewy to visit Rey and Ben, very generously sending his best regards and well wishes.

As Rey stood in Ben’s arms, sending soothing force waves his way, and BB-8 beeped and chirped excitedly, rolling round and round their legs, they soon saw the Falcon approaching far away against the horizon, growing larger by the second, and Rey noticed Ben’s heart rate increase tenfold as he struggled to keep calm. The seconds ticked agonizingly away one by one as they waited for the Falcon to land. Finally landed, the hatch slowly opened, and Ben froze, staring into the hairy, brown face of one of his oldest friends, from whom he’d been so long divided.

Chewbacca whinnied and then called out in impatient excitement as he spotted Ben, staring at him for a moment, and then they both ran towards each other, Chewy enfolding Ben in his warm embrace, holding him close for the first time since he had been ten years old. Ben’s heart was light, and he felt pure peace and happiness in this loving acceptance, as his beautiful soul mate Rey ran to embrace them both, wrapping her arms around them from behind, and his new friends Finn and Rose exited the Falcon, looking happily on.

Ben‘s heart was at peace, he was alive and well, redeemed, reunited with his soul mate and his family... and he was no longer “Solo”.


End file.
